Everything runs its course. Moods, relationships, habits, passions, being stuck. This weekend we went roller skating, something that I had not done since the last time I had done it all those years ago. In the seventies and eighties, it was kind of my thing. Just thinking that I was around in the seventies, doing things like roller skating at the rink, makes me happy; age is good.
Feeling the wind rush through my hair every time I passed the circular fan at the far end made me feel alive in a way that I have not felt in a long time. Each lap I felt myself becoming lighter. It's amazing that feeling of body memory. I knew how to skate. It all came back. Friday nights at the roller rink with friends, going into the darkness, the music, a bit of nervousness and the feeling of freedom. It was all there, stored and brought back to the surface for me to live again.
Now, is a specific period in my life too. I am raising young kids. I will look back on this period as one of the best parts in my life. I will associate certain memories with it, smells, sounds, places, and events. I will want to relive them again one day and I will try.
Looking over the course of a lifetime there are divisions, chunks of time that can be separated out not only by age or years, but by the more subtle things like relationships, music, a circle of friends, the house you are living in. A course is a continuous progression from one point to the next in onward movement. While it's true that we can never go back and we don't know what lies ahead, I think we can revisit things. Maybe time is like the roller rink, less a straight line, but a never ending circle. Each time around is different, your path is never the same, but you come back around, things repeat themselves subtly. I may begin to imagine time this way, for less would be that rushed feeling of "running out of time." Or maybe I will just revisit the roller rink again and let the memories come back and settle into the present moment of contentment.
love that line "things repeat themselves subtly." So true for me right now- when there is much change, there's also little bits of the familiar.
ReplyDeletei make my circle smaller, parenting a child with extreme 24hour a day needs! i always say the circle rolls round...for me my circle rolls daily now, its a diddy circle....it rolls, we revisit magic continually, when challenge gets me drowning i think of the circle and because its diddy its a mini life raft! but yes, its larger as well...it chunks of a life as well. its a good way to view a life xxxxx
ReplyDeletei really love this karina... for so many reasons. for one, skating at the rink was also my thing, back 'in the day'.
ReplyDeleteanother era of my life occurred in the rink, but instead an ice skating rink. ryan was into hockey, and he'd go to the rink and skate every single weekend. when we started dating (way back when i was 15! ...almost 16 :)), it became our thing.
we hadn't been for years, and about 5 years ago, we went both roller skating and ice skating (with the kids). i cannot begin to describe how it felt. well, you actually did describe it here (perfectly).
"Each time around is different, your path is never the same, but you come back around, things repeat themselves subtly. I may begin to imagine time this way, for less would be that rushed feeling of 'running out of time.'" (beautiful)