I've moved!

Done is better than perfect.

How do you like my new motto? I give it credit for the big move today! I've re-designed and moved my blog and website to their new home at curatetheday.com & karinabania.com. 

How to follow along:

• Follow my blog with Bloglovin (if you already are please add the new URL!)
• Follow via RSS
• Subscribe by email (click through on the sidebar on my new site)
• Add www.curatetheday.com to your bookmarks toolbar (curatetheday.blogspot.com will redirect you here from now on too)

I look forward to continuing the conversation. xx

Focus and depth

As so often happens, I sat down to do some work but just quickly clicked on a link from Bloesem that took me to the beautiful world of Amba Molly. And like that, I was lost. Drawn in by the images, the sculpture, the water, the sounds, and the whole of the exquisite world that was laid out on that table before me.

Ten minutes later, I am here writing about it. 

tick-tock,
tick-tock.

Whenever I am looking at something or spending my time doing something or even deciding if I should do something, I think about what the takeaway is. Because even "just being" has a takeaway you know, it's peace. You feel peaceful, you're centered and present. So, when I run down a rabbit hole online, which I do far too often, I like to take a nugget away with me that I will incorporate into my work or my life. It makes me feel productive and that's what looking at inspiring things are for right, inspiration- to transfer and then translate into something else. 

I recently did an interview over at Blue Locket. One of the questions Nadya asked was, what scares you? I answered that time scares me. Specifically, the shortness of life and the length of things I want to experience. Then I talked about the depth of living. That less measurable dimension that really brings meaning to life. 

she lived deeply, she inhabited her days.

This whole examination here, which is what I aim for in my process of writing, is bringing me to the question of focus. Time is limited, it is out of our control, but focus - where we choose to spend our time, that is completely up to us. In order to live deeply, which is what I am here to do, I must ask, what is the optimum focus that I should have in order to really live my days? 

Looking again at her work, and thinking about what it took to create it, the focus she must have had. She had an idea, she explored it, and then one by one, created each piece. This is depth. She went into the idea, into the work. You can see it and feel it. I think that is what I am aiming for. Whether it's in parenting, within my home, in relationships, in my work, when writing in this space, when thinking, and being, I want depth. I want to scratch beneath the surface, to be thoughtful. I want to think and express and have a conversation about it. I'm realizing that's where my focus needs to lie, on the depth. Not necessarily on just one thing, like painting, because that's unrealistic. But if I focus on going into the ideas that I am exploring in the moment, being present with my kids in the way they want me to be, using my relationships as a mirror to truly see myself, facing the moments of inadequacy in my art, then this is deep living.

Whew, and this is my takeaway from looking at Amba Molly. It's raining here, which is so conducive to thought, don't you think? Do you look for takeaways in places where you spend your time? I'd love to know. 

Have a great week!

The creative gap

“Nobody tells this to people who are beginners, I wish someone told me. All of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not. 

But your taste, the thing that got you into the game, is still killer. And your taste is why your work disappoints you. A lot of people never get past this phase, they quit. Most people I know who do interesting, creative work went through years of this. We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this. And if you are just starting out or you are still in this phase, you gotta know its normal and the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Put yourself on a deadline so that every week you will finish one story. 

It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions. And I took longer to figure out how to do this than anyone I’ve ever met. It’s gonna take awhile. It’s normal to take awhile. You’ve just gotta fight your way through.” 

Ira Glass, public radio host of This American Life

+++

Whenever I'm stuck, or need to get started, I return to this. It's simply one of the best things I've ever read. I often dream paintings. I have vague visualizations of things I want to do. But executing that vision, well... Do you have things you read or do when you need a creative jumpstart?

The kids are back in school, the house is empty, I'm back to the studio. I've got a show coming up in one month. It's a new week. A new day. Hope yours is a good one. 

A sea change

But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange. 

From Shakespeare's The Tempest, 1610

+++

After a few weeks of easy living, I am putting the sea to rest. Back home, back to work. It's only a few short months until summer. How that is possible, I don't know. 

What does it take to make a sea change? A phrase I have long loved. I've had ideas, almost executions, starts and stops, in my head, out of hands, for literally years now. Along the way there are many successes. So many incredible things in life to point to and say, this is the result of my work. But for some reason, it does not feel enough. There were three things that I wanted to accomplish this year. Once those are done, I think, I will feel my sea change. 

Walking in the yard I pulled two avocados from my tree, leftover fruit of last year's yield. I set them on the counter to see if they would ripen. Sure enough, yesterday, they did. 

Maybe we're always in the midst of change. Do we ever arrive? How long can you stay? 

I hope you have a wonderful weekend. xx

Thoughts on solitude

it's still spring break. 
my husband is still gone.
my kids are still here.
i haven't been alone in fourteen days*

for many people, so many mother's I talk to, they are rarely alone. i try to be. i need to be, i always have.

do you know what the number one creativity habit is? 
solitude. 

Reading around online over the last few days, there seems to be discontentment. I guess it's always been there, underneath, but then one person voices it, then another, and it's out there. Maybe it's the astrological time of the year. A friend just sent that to me last night. I've never really been into the astrological world, but hey, I'm all for letting go, clearing out, and starting new. But truthfully, I think discontentment has to do with a lack solitude. 

As I fell asleep last night I was thinking about the fact that when I grew up there was no internet. When I was in college, there were no blogs. In my early twenties, the way I developed my sense of self was through myself. Of course there were my peers, magazines to look at, and friends of friends with dreamy lives, but reality tv had not begun and the at your fingertips, voyeuristic, comparison culture was not yet prevalent. The world is so different. The fact that we don't have to wonder about anything for even one minute, because we can google it, blows my mind. That alone is life altering. 

Solitude is something that doesn't seem to get put high on the to-do list. Not only is it undervalued, I feel like we literally run from it. We fill the space with things, activities, and other people. And you know what that brings, discontentment. 

“One can be instructed in society, one is inspired only in solitude.” Goethe

This quote by Goethe is very close to a personal motto that I try to live by. Look to others for inspiration, but not for comparison. When I keep my gaze focused inward, I am happiest. My drive to create and to live comes from inside, it is not fueled by an exterior force, like trying to keep up with someone, trying to  have a life as seemingly perfect as a picture. Of course there are moments when I get lost. I become outwardly focused and soon after discontentment ensues. I know this process. I saw a quote recently, I hung it up.  

Living well is the best revenge. 

The ultimate in outward focus, right? It is still hanging in my studio. It has been driving me. But I know ultimately, it won't take me far. I am not to the discontented state yet, but I will be. I could stop and refocus inwardly, but truthfully, I am not ready yet. I haven't fully played it out, this envy, irritation, I am holding in my mind. As unenlightened as it may sound, it's my process. And I need and want to go through it. And I will. When I have enough solitude to create from this place, then I'll make one move that will turn everything around. When I inspire myself. When I again become the source of my creating. 

+++

Solitude is being alone.
Solitude is thinking for yourself.
Solitude is formulating ideas.
Solitude is wondering.
Solitude is space.
Solitude is finding your own voice.
Solitude is the place you return to when you get stirred up, lose your voice, or are feeling bad about yourself.
Solitude is where you find focus.
Solitude is where you process.
Solitude is where you move through the dark.
Solitude is where real creativity lives. 
Solitude is where love comes from. If you're ever frustrated with your kids or spouse, go be alone. When you've taken a step into yourself, you can give again.
Solitude is engagement with yourself.
Solitude is reflection. Reflection on the kind of person you are, the kind of life you want to lead. 
Solitude is not accomplishing. But it is essential in the process of accomplishment. 

My five quick ways I get a solitude fix:
1. Take a walk.
2. Paint.
3. Drive.
4. Lay on my bed and look at the sky.
5. Sit on the porch and listen to music while watching the wind.

* Note. I actually have been alone over spring break. My solitude comes at night when everyone is sleeping. The problem is that I'm up too late and not sleeping. Thus I am pretty out of balance at the moment, and a bit cranky, forgive. 

Can you relate?

finding yourself

book as background: francesco clemente, a portrait

It's the end of a busy week. There was a lot of goodness happening, so much so that I haven't had the time to write much. But that's a good thing, right? Living.

I came across the quote above not too long ago and really loved the honesty of it. I watch daily as my little one imitates my big one and as my big one imitates me. We all learn through watching the world and people around us. As we get older, somehow we feel like we should hide that fact, that we should be totally unique, formulated only from ourselves. But the reality is that we are a part of everything and it's ok to look and imitate and then make it your own.

We have a busy weekend planned, two date nights, an international fair complete with a Columbian dance and song performance by Sienna's class, and some studio time. I also have a handful of half finished posts that I am finishing up to share next week. I'm a flood of ideas, but action takes time.

I also wanted to say that I love writing here and thinking about what to share. I appreciate every comment and feel like this space is a great tool for further finding myself. It's helping me document life, reminding me of what is important, and expanding my connections with interesting people.

One of the things D and I are talking about on our date night tonight is taking a personal inventory. We are looking at all things we are doing to better ourselves and where we are spending our time. Think of it as spring cleaning for the self. How often do you take a personal inventory? What do you do in life for your personal growth? I'd love to hear your thoughts! Have a great weekend. xx

School of Life

Image & interview via The Design Files

Beware the barrenness of a busy life. Socrates

We are all living busy lives. And in that busyness, it is often the creative, intellectual, and self-reflective pursuits that get sacrificed. I don't have time to read. I have too much going on to stop and sit with what I am feeling. Five years ago, a friend and I started a women's group. Our intention was to create a space where each month we come together with a curriculum to discuss different topics and feel challenged to think, reflect, learn and grow. Continually. 

As busy adults and no longer in school, we seem to lack a structure that challenges us to look at how we operate, what we believe and value, and how our past has impacted us. How often do you take an inventory to see if you are on the road you intended to take? After five years with the same group of women, month after month, I can honestly say, it is one of the best things I have done for my personal growth. 

When we first started, we sent out an invitation which included this quote by Bruce Mau from his Incomplete Manifesto for Growth. Allow events to change you. You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

It takes a certain kind of courage to look honestly at your life. To call up events and shine light on things that can really be left well enough alone. However difficult, I feel that we always benefit from the challenge of looking. 

I recently came across this amazing school via The Design Files, that's right up my alley. It's called the The School of Life. Based in London, they call themselves a cultural enterprise offering good ideas for everyday life. They address such questions as why work is often unfulfilling, why relationships can be so challenging, why it’s ever harder to stay calm and what one could do to try to change the world for the better. 

On the menu of the school, you won’t find subjects like ‘philosophy’ ‘French’ ‘History’ and ‘the Classics’. You’ll find courses in ‘Death,’ ‘Marriage’ ‘Choosing a career’ ‘Ambition’ ‘Child Rearing’ or ‘Changing your world’. How great is that! There’s even a bookshop in the school which does away with the traditional categories in bookshops like fiction or history and just sells books according to particular problems. They've got a shelf titled ‘For those who worry at night’ and another titled ‘How to be happy though married’. They call the shop a ‘chemist for the soul’.

For those of us who are not living in London or Melbourne, where they just opened their second campus, they have a great blog that you can follow along with. Every change begins with a first step. What small change can you make that can expand your life? Happy schooling!

monday, creative morning

clare vivier.
i love your bags,
i love your store,
i love your style.

and now i love your story about creating a brand. found on los angeles creative mornings. 

happy monday!

two thousand thirteen, get in here

two thousand thirteen,

i'm not feeling you

yet.

and january, 

you and i 

always struggle.

i guess i am a slow starter.

i've always struggled to create on demand.

+++

inspiration needs to strike,

for me to move.

sure, i know how to lay the foundation

create the space

invite her in.

i gather images 

channel the look

play the soundtrack.

these things usually do it.

but like all things in life, 

it's unpredictable.

two thousand thirteen, 

my door is open,

i'm waiting. 

source of inspiration

via clear north blog

via le dans la

One of the things that I always wonder about and often get asked is where inspiration comes from. What inspires me when I paint, for example. Throughout the years, I have read many books and interviews with artists, looked at my own creative process, and that of my friends to find out what the process is that proceeds a finished piece of work. 

I recently bought the book, Steal Like an Artist, by Austin Kleon. It's a clever little book about the ten things that no one ever told you about being creative. It's full of good quotes and specific ideas for getting started and inspired to create. He uses the word stealing. I have to admit, it's a word that I don't like to use to describe my process, but after reading the book, call it what you may, it is often how creativity works. 

In a nutshell, artists collects things they love. They devour moments in films, photographs, architecture, sections of paintings, clouds, light on a hillside, shadows on the street, a few words on a page or notes of music. They collect, dissect, study them, take them in, and let them inspire their work.

This morning, I was looking through a file of images I have for a hit of daily inspiration to get started on a painting. I came across the two photographs above. I love the photo of the people on the water. The dark shadows, the composition; it could easily inspire an abstract painting for me. I then saw the image of the white lanterns. The two images together made me remember a picture I took this weekend at the beach. O was running by me with a face of delight. The image was in color and had all the details of the ocean and sand. But when I saw the images above, I was inspired to take my picture, play with some filters and create this blown out, black and white photo below. 

What will I do with this picture now? Maybe hang it, maybe nothing. That is a whole other topic to delve into, creative sidetracks, which I find myself distracted by all the time. Anyway, I have a beautiful shot of O that I love, and I've gotten clearer on my own creative process.

I'd love to hear how you create and what inspires you!