yesterday i was cleaning my studio. i picked up a book by Louise Bourgeois and inside, written on a piece of paper i found this.
i made this note ten years ago, it's by Doug Aitken. i have been searching my whole life. it's funny to look back on things i've written ten or even thirteen years ago and think, wow, i was thinking, growing, and searching even back then. it's been a long road.
i have conversations almost daily with people about living deeply, finding your passion, and taking steps to bring our dreams alive. much of the time it's me talking, because i by no means, have it figured out. i have been working on projects for years that are still not manifested. i am not completely where i want to be with my art. but this year i feel as if i have taken some major steps into action. it's rough, sometimes the path gets obscured, i have moments of doubt and feel like so many people are years ahead of me. but then i remember that it's not a race, it's not a destination. the big event that we are waiting for is simply clarity. clarity to give us direction, to move forward and be inspired.
you hit this one on the head for me Karina. i always feel like there are so many even younger than me who have always known what they wanted to do and get on their path at a young age and do it. i have never been like that. i am forty and still trying to find my path. motherhood found me and i love being a mother but i am more than just a mother...
ReplyDeleteI hear you. I think the great thing is like Katie mentioned below, we are always changing. People are recreating themselves and job-shifting multiple times during their life. So, it's really never too late to find and pursue a passion. I think getting older and having kids, really brings you into who you are even more. I discovered a few of my passions and projects I am pursuing since having kids. I feel like it's such a creative time. Cheers to forty and finding yourself!
Deleteyes. and being a late bloomer! ;)
DeleteThank you for writing this post! I'm constantly striving toward clarity...the interesting thing is that I think that search will always be there (at least for me). We, as humans, are always changing, so why not our passions? Or at least how we express our passions. I think that realization helps me feel a bit less dilettantish in my changing interests, I suppose... :)
ReplyDeleteHi Katie, I totally agree about the search being there throughout our lives. I think that our interests and passions do change and that is great, right, it means we're growing and expanding. It's fabulous you've realized that :) Do you find that you have cloudy and clear periods in your life? For me I will have something that I am totally engrossed in and pursuing and I feel clear, happy, and fulfilled. And then at some point, I crave a change, or I notice that I am looking for clarity again. I think that it's an indicator that I need to change something in my life or pursue something new. It's interesting, learning to embrace change throughout life. Thanks for your thoughts! xx
DeleteYes! I'm definitely noticing it more and more now that I'm older. Passing that 40 benchmark makes you stop and think... ;) I'm noticing the journey much more than the end result recently. Whether at a cloudy or clear moment, I seem to take notice more. And hopefully it results in overall clarity of purpose... :)
ReplyDeleteWell said, Katie. It has always been about the journey, it's what makes life so imperfectly, perfect. I'm starting to embrace that idea more and more as I revisit it throughout my life. That one idea gives us enough purpose for many lifetimes.
Delete