A little lost

Monday, April 1, 2013

“For me, childhood roaming was what developed self-reliance, a sense of direction and adventure, imagination, a will to explore, to be able to get a little lost and then figure out the way back.” Rebecca Solnit, A Field Guide to Getting Lost

This is the place where our children explore. They can run a bit free. The beaches are empty, the vineyards have hidden paths, the roads are dirt. They run around together, in the feeling of another country, almost another time. Under our watchful eye, there are places they can escape to, to feel unwatched, feel independent. 

Earlier I talked about letting kids take risks, what about letting them be just a bit out of sight? Thinking back to my own childhood I had such freedom. My girls are really young, but there are places that I feel comfortable letting them roam just beyond my glance. How about you, do you let your kids wander a bit? Did you have that luxury in your childhood? 

It's Monday, have a great week!

11 comments:

  1. hi karina! looks like you are having so much fun in mexico. what a restful place to enjoy nature in such beauty. i love your pics.

    we live in a busy town so i don't feel comfortable letting my girls roam, but my parent's home in maine is another story. it warmed my heart to see them exploring, picking up pine cones off the ground, popping puff balls, walking down a path i couldn't see the end to and having no structured activities at all. i think our girlies would have fun exploring together:)

    xoxo-molly

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    1. Molly, isn't it so nice to have a place that the girls can roam a bit. I too live in a busy town, San Diego :) so we always have a tight eye on the kids here. But our yard is set up so they can play and wander a bit. It's so refreshing to feel moments of safety and lack of structure. I wish you lived nearer, I know our girls would love exploring together. xx

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  2. Inspired by you, I am heading out the door, with my boys in tow, journeying into the land of the lost where we go and find out dreams and our selves, our souls.

    xo

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  3. I think I commented on the last post, but I have such a hard time letting the kids wander from my sight. As a child, a friend lost his sister in a very tragic way walking to school just a block or so, and I swear it scarred me completely. I am totally anxious if I can't see the kids, even at the park. J is much more able to let them have a little bit of room to be freer. I guess if we were in a place that was deserted or contained in some way, like you are in Mexico, I'd be more ok with it, but in our daily lives I have a hard time not worrying about losing them. There you go, my mom compulsion of the day ;) The funny thing is, I was a latchkey kid and walked home every day alone, and there were no cell phones of course, so I did have a fair amount of freedom growing up!

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    1. After reading the comments here, it makes me want to hold the girls tight and never let them go. I am also generally very anxious when I lose sight of them or even think about it. I have so many fears about the world and our kids in it. That's one of the reasons I totally limit what I watch and read, I don't want to live in fear. Growing up was so different, I walked to school with neighborhood friends. As I got older we played outside and in the canyon from morning until night. We rode bikes everywhere. It was a different world and one I long for. Luckily, I do find moments of peace, where things feel safe, we're in an enclosed spot all together, and I can see them running past, and constantly hear their giggles, to let them feel free. These moments are also helped by the fact that Doug has the eyes of a hawk :)

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  4. That is such a beautiful capture. I have to admit I find it hard to let my boys out of my sight as well. One day, I know it will happen but for now, I guess I still see them as my babies... It's hard not to worry. I can't bear the thought of anything happening to them, especially after losing Cam. But I also do know that letting go is part of the processing of parenting and mothering...
    Thanks for this beautiful & honest post, Karina.
    Ronnie xo

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    1. Thanks Ronnie for your thoughts. As I mentioned above, I have all the same fears. And since the girls are still so little, not too many moments pass even inside our own house, that I don't go check on them to make sure they are ok. Letting go is part of parenting, but I think even when they are adults, we will still have a piece of our hearts beating a bit anxiously for them. xx

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  5. my mom was single, and during 1/2 of the week, worked long days. and we lived in a very quiet, low-traffic area, in the sierra madre canyon. i had much freedom to wander. much, much more than my own kids do.

    but i have made a concerted effort to give them more space. in little ways. bike rides around our block. walking the dog (this was a big leap- for me!-... not for jacob, as he is older~ but for hailey to be able to walk with him). & in other little ways (that don't necessarily involve wandering or risk-taking, but give them a sense of independence and freedom)~ such as grocery shopping assistance, (unmonitored) car washing... (those last couple definitely have added benefits :))

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    1. wow, the Sierra Madres, nice. Torrie, you are who I am going to turn to in the years ahead. Everyone I know has kids my kids age. You are learning everything first :) I see how scary that must be, but yes, those benefits sound nice. I wish we lived in a bit of a quieter area, but I guess anywhere you are the leap to let go is still hard. Thanks for your thoughts.

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    2. One thing I love is finding places to camp, where I truly feel safe to let them roam (out of sight not out of earshot). My three boys have a wide range of ages (youngest is 6, oldest 13, middle 9) so there is a certain amount of safety I feel if they are "roaming" together, but last summer we went to Catalina Island and camped at the campground at Two Harbors. It is such a sleepy sweet place (...you have to take a boat on and off the island...no real cars except for the folks who live there) that I felt less anxious about their roaming. Their desire for freedom was met in so many ways. the campground is perched above the water so you could track their movements as we made dinner after a day playing in the sand at the beach....I think I am going to explore more tent camping on the channel islands this summer. And there is definitely a return trip to Catalina planned...with even more children, so they can travel in a wild imaginative pack. xxoo

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