Passionate Dispassion

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Louis 'Satchmo' Armstrong plays for his wife in front of the Sphinx, 1961.



Five years ago, a friend and I created a women's group. Once a month we meet, have dinner, and discuss a topic. This month was, creating habits that enhance happiness. As it often happens, the issue was timely. D and I had just had a conversation in which he was encouraging me to commit to working out, something that I don't do with any regularity. My argument was that I have not found the passion for working out, so therefore I will never be able to fully commit to it. Without passion, it won't become a habit, something that I relate to being second nature. 

One of our focuses was instilling good habits into our children and ourselves. Not everyone agreed that passion was needed to drive something into a habit. Many feel that doing it, drives it into a habit. We hear that a lot, just do it. Whether it is working out, meditating, or eating breakfast, these are all habits that would greatly benefit my life, so why do I find it so hard to do them? 

On Monday, I mentioned this article and I wanted to revisit this section on passion that I found interesting.

I have been doubting myself lately about whether I should enter works of art in the way that I do, which is with a lot of emotion, and always looking for a way to personally relate. I remember when I was a freshman in college, in my first literature class, I told my TA that I had trouble writing essays about books I didn’t love. The advice she gave me was to write with “passionate dispassion.” I teach now, and this is one of the most common dilemmas I hear from students: How do you write about something you don’t care about? I usually tell them to find an angle that interests them, or think about why anyone else would care. (But do they even care who cares?) I tell them they can still find something valuable in a book or a work of art, even if they aren’t emotionally moved by it. I’m not yet satisfied with my answer.


So if I take the principle of passionate dispassion and apply it to creating an exercise routine, would it work? Could I find an angle that interests me or can I commit to it for my family, to stay healthy and live long? Perhaps. Maybe I am just being stubborn. I only have so many hours in a day to get things done that must be done and after that, I want to do the things I love to do first. And many days, I don't even get to those things. 

Thinking further, I remembered something I read in Inc. magazine about following your passion in business. The article says that passion is a side effect of mastery. Passion is not something you follow, passion is something that will follow you as you put in the hard work. Now that's a reversal. Just do it, the passion will come. Is that true? I know that good habits are important and something that I value. Maybe I just need to add exercise to the must do list and get over the fact that not every moment is going to be as passionate as Satchmo at the pyramids, right? 

Do you need passion to make something a habit? Do you have any advice for creating healthy habits easily? I could use a bit of advice. 

8 comments:

  1. We've talked about my perspective before: I need to workout daily or most days in order to relieve stress and clear my head. I go through phases of what those workouts are specifically, but I notice that when I don't do it regularly, I'm on a much less even keel. I wouldn't say I'm passionate about the work itself, but I enjoy the results enough to put in the effort.

    I do think there's something to the thought that "passion comes from mastery." It feels good to do something well, to be successful. And aside from a lucky few, most of us have to work hard at everything we want to do well. I see it the most in terms of exercise at Crossfit, where you can actually measure results in terms of time put in and regular effort.

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    1. I feel like I have talked about this endlessly, I know. I bought the kids a yoga dvd that I'm bringing with us. I am going to do it with them, perhaps it will prep me for classes when I return. I think being surrounded by all you cross fitters makes me feel like I need to step it up. But honestly walking is my favorite form of exercise and meditation in one. I think just committing to that each week will be where I begin. Thanks Erin.

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  2. Karina,

    I agree very much with this article (I saw it on the web, but your post put me into further consideration of it), as passion can sometimes lead you astray. Pulling you in directions that erode balance and an innate sense of discovery. Some of the things I've personally pursued seemed arbitrary or "not-special" at first glance, but as I started to immerse I found a new passion, a new object of my affection. We always tend to think we know what it is that we love and we pursue it with vigor. But sometimes we find that pursuing the thing that alludes us can spark something new. I NEVER thought I would love spinning, as an example, and had trepidation about taking a class.

    BUT! after taking a few classes, I found that I loved it. I found that it was very much like yoga, and how would I ever know this if I hadn't tackled something with focus and slightly less passion?

    Warmly, f.

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    1. Felicia, thanks for your thoughts on this. After reading your comment, I agree with you. You also reminded me about my kids and how I am continuously exposing them to new things. Some of them stick, some don't, and some may in the future. The same should go for me. I also see now that passion can prevent you from discovering something new. I hadn't looked at it this way before. I will delve into a few different exercise classes and see what I discover. Hopefully a bit of focus can bring a little passion. Thanks! :)

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  3. I don't enjoy working out.Period. I enjoy the feeling after, but that is usually not enough to get me to put gym shoes on. Over the years I have realized there is no need to beat myself up about this. I love to walk and could do so for hours and miles. I love to get on a bike and choose a far distance to bike to (usually a farmers market or coffee shop). It is not the act of exercising, but the good feeling I have walking, taking in the sites or locking up my bike to enjoy a good cup of coffee. Hiking is another favorite and we do it as family-often just urban hiking. Choose a coffee shop on a Saturday and "hike" there. I feel like if you are an active person in your daily life you don't necessarily need to take the additional time to work-out-especially if you don't enjoy it.

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    1. Jennifer, totally agree and this has been my usual stance. I love walking and we take family hikes almost every weekend. I feel good about those things. I may take Felicia's advice above and try a few things, but being easy with myself is probably the best thing to do. Really appreciate the advice!

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  4. I read that there's a Chinese saying that "we move through boredom to passion".

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